I have undergone some changes in my life in the last two years. Among them is that I became a wife and a mother. The most significant change was becoming a mother to twins. As a result of motherhood, my life did a 100 percent turnaround. Life stopped being about me. Motherhood changes and molds you. From my experience as a mother, If motherhood has not changed you, I don’t think there is anything in this world that is capable of changing you or is there?
Motherhood will make you mellow, emotional, and compassionate. It also makes you tough; you can endure so much as a mother. You realize that you have that inner strength, and you become more confident. You can handle a lot while operating with so few hours of sleep. During the twin’s first year, I was running like a machine; during the day, I had a job to go to, and at night, the babies kept on waking up at intervals of every three hours or so. Each day in the morning, I thought I would not make it through the day, but that was not an option. I thank God I have a supportive and understanding better half; It made all the difference.
While my first one and a half years of parenting were shut off from the world, I have realized that it is essential for mothers to go back to their social life. Of course, going out until the wee hours of the night is out of the question. Most women disconnect with friends when they get married and become mothers. Women think that they have so much to handle and cannot afford a social life. I have come to realize that even while things change, you need to maintain and keep close contact with your inner circle of friends. These friends will be by your side in the event that things go wrong, and even when things do not go wrong, a girl got to have some friends around her to maintain sanity :-). The friends that you have should be those that challenge you, those that you can discuss anything under the sun, be it investments, life in general, challenges, etc., not those that will derail you from your goals or marriage, keep these away. Make meaningful friendships. Unless you are undergoing domestic violence, emotionally or physically, then by all means, I advocate for friends that will help you get out of that situation. I believe women raise their children better when they are in a safe environment.
Motherhood has made me appreciate my parents and other parents too. I am no longer judgmental when I see other parents handling their babies. Before having babies, I would look at some parents, especially at church, and wonder why they cannot control their babies. Fast forward to my 19 months toddlers, and I can say I have much respect for parents. I am witnessing the tantrums, and sometimes I feel helpless. When we first took the babies to church, my boy was uncontrollable. He was fascinated by the drums, the seats, almost everything in the church. He could not sit still. During prayers, he kept dragging the plastic chairs, and when I tried to hold him to keep him still, he would let out the best scream he could manage. I could see the look on people’s faces around me, and then I remembered I used to be those people. I quietly walked out. We tried Sunday school for kids, it was not any different, but we will slowly get there. However, my girl is so much different. She is this calm girl who will sit through the service with her dad, but of course, she takes after me personality-wise. I think the boy takes after the dad :-). My boy’s tantrums have made me understand, not to judge other parents if you have not stepped in their shoes. I am patiently waiting for the COVID to end so that we can go to church.
My babies are 19 months old, and I am enjoying this motherhood journey. My priorities have changed, and I have become more focused. To the mothers out there, you are doing a great job. Put your chin up high and be proud of the impact you have had on your children. To the supportive fathers out there, we appreciate the good work you are doing for your families.
Cheers to better parenting!